Sometimes Uncertainty Visits Me!

These past days I am uncertain about many things. I need to learn everything about my health on my own, one discovery after another, I cannot explain because I cannot understand. All I know was to follow my heart, I can act quickly for no reason at all, basta kumikilos at basta lng naiisip ko ito, ganito, lahat sinisubukan dahil ang prayer ko ay "Lord, I know you are in control, you know everything about my past and my future, perhaps these disease looks like set back, but at times it seems like a set-up to level me, seems God is preparing me to the fullness of my destiny. I lift all of these cross, bahala ka na po sa akin, sa amin. Ituro mo po ang gagawin, at tulungan mo po ako sa lahat ng ito." and He help me make it through, He carry my cross and carry me.

I need to practice obedience to see God's higher purpose for me. I change from day to day basis and lead myself to the unknown. I need to pass these tests, I think God wants to refine me. He wants to see if I can pass the test using a positive attitude that will change my mood in my waiting room. I think God needs to prepare me for a higher level and wanted me to handle myself to do things I don't really like to do. I need to change my technique in responding to these tests. God give me these opportunities to show him how I am made of, so he could guide me to where he wanted me to be. God gave me good and not-so-good people around me to know the difference. I need to trust God's plan for me, I should walk with faith because I don't really understand how to pass these tests. I think God wants to see how I come out of these inconveniences and pains.

Today, after breakfast I have a shortage in my breathing again, I stop eating and go out to see the morning sun, inhale, and exhale with the help of my favorite scent calamansi and dill leaves, those really help me breathe a little more comfortable. In a while, Tony and small dogs follow me outside, to my surprise, it's Ganryu Hope that went straight to my feet, so cute and sweet. Tony open up his mind and told me how wonderful that we have this little garden where I can sit and be with the morning sun together with God's special creatures and creations around. Oo nga naman, most of the houses here don't have a beautiful sunrise view like ours. 

"Lord, God in heaven, sayo galing ang aming buhay, and in your hands kayo na po ang bahala sa aming lahat. Yes, I certainly believe that you will always be here for us, your people. " 

We cannot do so much as humans, we're all in the same boat in this Pandemic situation. Let's continue praying for each other's concerns and safety, let's continue helping each other's weaknesses and needs and let's keep cheering each other's spirit according to God's glory and riches.

In the Hands of God, more than ever I find myself cool, in the hands of God is what I think I have wanted all my life. Believe me, It's not always easy, but it's light, something like I am calm and it is worth it to stay that way when you don't really understand everything. I stick to the company of people who pulls out the magic in me and I pray not to get near those who make my madness.  

I am happy to follow God's most important commandment "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." definitely mahirap yan, lalo kapag inaaway ka, Hehehe! But, I was able to get away from it the moment I said to myself, OMG! Saint Michael, Prince of heavenly host protects me from evil who is ruining many souls. Yes! My faith is my invisible best friend, talikod agad sa evil. In the silence of my heart I know I am still weak, kaya meron nga umaaligid pa minsan minsan. So help me God, especially in times of test and temptations. 

Now there is a difference, the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feels myself so totally in God's hands. 

PSALM 37:4: THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

He Restores my Strength in a single minute after I face the sunrise. Holy Spirit, drive away from me all forms of sickness and disease. He restore strength to my body and joy to my spirit, so that in my renewed health, I may bless and serve my family, and God, now and forevermore.

My Prayer to Renew My Mind, Body, and Soul:

O' Holy One. I come before you today in need of your healing hand. With you all things are possible. Hold my heart within yours, and renew my mind, body, and soul. I am lost most of the time, but I always come to you with grace. You gave me, our life, and you give us the gift of infinite joy.

Give, us the strength to move forward on the path you've laid out for me. Guide me towards better health, and give me the wisdom to identify those you've placed around me to help me get better. That in all things God may be glorified! Amen.

6:30AM Morning has broken, like the first morning!

My favorite scent is the leaf, Dill. 

It helps me breathe a little better.

My favorite scent is the Calamansi leaf. 

This helps me breathe more easily and relax.

Thank you so much, Julia and Puti!

Masakit Ganryu, may teeth ka na nga!

Tony's stalker, little helper, our head guard Ganryu Hope, 

always ready to strike, kupit ng mga mahuhulog!

Mommy Kim, Lucky Chloe of Kazumi, and Ganryu Hope of Kim!

Ganryu Hope, checking in biting my toes!

Mango para kay Nicky!

Hinog na ang sili!

Thank you so much, Tita Dolly Abel!

Once again, thank you for taking the time to read this blog. It is what it is today due to your comments and support. As always, do share your comments with other readers in the name of open and honest discussion.